Shackles on Our Minds

I started my education at Saint Peters School in Saint John. However, the following summer my family moved to a new home on Rockland Road. There I attended Grades 2 - 6 . Unfortunately I had to move back to Saint Peters to complete Grades 7 and 8. I will never forget my first day in Grade 7. Without being fully conscious of, what one might call the first stages of puberty, I knew I was  big and gangly. The 'biologic clock' was certainly ticking. God forbid that anything embarrassing should happen in front of my new classmates.

Because it was a new enrolment, the seven of us arrived late and were marched into a room full of boys the same age. Miss Dever, her grey hair pulled back in a bun, was standing beside her desk, ruler in hand. As we came into the classroom we marched along the far wall towards the vacant seats in the back.  I was painfully self conscious and definitely trying to keep a low profile as twenty  boys watched us in silence stumble into the empty desks. Unfortunately, Miss Dever knew my father. As I was slinking along the wall, desperately trying to appear unnoticed, the dead silence was broken by her words, "Dicky, is that you?" I was crushed, my cover was broken and my effort to 'fit in' was destroyed by those explosive words.

Miss Dever's question did not change my personality, but they were a source of serious embarrassment that effected my behaviour right up to university. I was 'centered out', the very thing I feared most. This caused me, in a school environment, to become silent and withdrawn. A perfect subject for Dr. Jung, no doubt!

I don't believe my shyness in school was a core personality trait (some may dispute that!) but I must admit, I always attempted to keep a low profile. A wallflower perhaps? I had to make a special effort to change my behaviour once I reached university. Playing sports was the answer for me. I had to work hard 'to be the best' and that required determination. Sports psychologists suggest that our brains want to drop out when our efforts reach the 40% level. Think push-ups or holding the plank position in the gym! But 40% means there is 60% still available! The coach that taught me the most was Bill Beveridge one time goal tender in the NHL (N.Y., Montreal, Ottawa)

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As an octogenarian life has taught me that people can change if they wish. Changing our 'core', or fixed personality, is probably the most difficult. But, like most things in life we can shape, develop and attain a new attitude. Like striving to learn to play a new instrument, or to lose unwanted weight, we 'inch' forward one step at a time.

Believing this makes it difficult for me to deal with obstinate, inflexible and stubborn people who are convinced -  'that's the way I am.' Quite frankly, getting old is wonderful, there is absolutely no reason not to change ....................... unless, of course,  to do so is stupid and unreasonable!

Bye, bye Miss Dever!

And that's Dick's View of the World this Week

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