Change is the Norm

During the summer months I tend to spend as much time as possible on our boat SQUALL. As far as summers go, this one has been cool, wet and windy. Not a lot of sailing, especially if I have to go single-handed. Fortunately, the WiFi is working in the clubhouse today and, as I sat down to set up my computer to write this week's blog, a friend said to me why don't you write something about change.

I thought this was a wonderful idea because these same friends and neighbours have just sold their boat and will be leaving the club tomorrow. They have been delightful associates and any time  I needed  technical advice (meaning help!), they were there to lend a hand. So, once again, I must face a significant change in my life.

Most people I know understand that change is a constant. Change has been called the Cycle of Life. However, as a youth, you learn to expect it and adjust to the flow. Now that I am an octogenarian it seems change, often negative in nature, happens more frequently. I have just recovered from my 85th birthday and now another one is upon me! Where or where did the time go? I remember when I rejected the idea of growing old. For some silly reason I thought I was never going to become one of those old folks with the stooped shoulders and the grey hair. But now, when I look in the mirror, my father is staring back at me! I have arrived kicking and screaming.  Actually I arrived some few years ago and I am now just getting the courage to face that reality.

I'm Waiting for You!

I like to compare moving through changes in life to a visit to the dentist. You wait outside paging through old magazines until someone calls you to the dentist's chair. Since my doctor has two such chairs, you now end up alone waiting for his arrival as he is busy with another patient. This time there is no magazine to page through and you are surrounded by all kinds of strange looking instruments wondering what they are for, when a masked man suddenly appears and says, "Open your mouth wide please." We might call this the transmission period which can be a time of anxiety wondering if you will be able to cope with the new situation, not to mention the possible pain! The child in the back seat of the car who constantly says, "Are we there yet?" knows what I am talking about. Moving out of our comfort zone can be disturbing.

I have found that it is not the gradual changes that are difficult. At first we don't want to give up the old ways and open ourselves to the new. Usually there are significant people around who are willing to 'hold your hand' as you move into a new dimension and discover it is not as bad as you thought. The old adage or aphorism, 'The best things in life come through change" often proves itself. Put another way, "If you do not create change, change will create you." (Unknown). At other times we are often called upon to adjust to sudden change and find ourselves in a state of shock. Again, time is necessary to heal and to move forward. It resembles a dialectic process when apparent opposites move towards some form of integration. Understanding this helps us to accept change and see its real value in our personal development.

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The truth is there are some things in life we cannot change and there are others that we can. The things we can't change, like getting old, we learn to accept. The problem with anxious thoughts is just that, they are not facts, only guesses. Just because something can happen does not mean that it will. As my few octogenarian years draw closer to the nineties, I am tempted to think there is no longer a need to stay in shape, or learn new things, to watch my diet or to hope for a future. But then I see all the good people and experiences in my life and I gain the courage to move on, to be open and alive and live more fully in the wonderful present.

So even if our friends are no longer members of our  yacht club, I am sure that the relationship that has grown over many years will still endure, but in another circumstance.

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." Andre Guide, French author and winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature. 

And that's Dick's View of the World this Week