'Here Comes the Judge' - Pigmeat Martin 1986

One bright sunny day a few summers ago, Maureen was hurrying down the main dock towards our boat slip.  She was carrying groceries bags in both hands. She turned to her left to talk to a fellow sailor coming the other way and did not notice that the bow and anchor of one of the sail boats was protruding over the dock. As she turned left to speak to the other sailor, she bumped into the anchor with both arms. Later, when the  commodities were carefully stored below deck, we noticed bruises on both arms just above her elbows.

The following day I drove Maureen to a doctor's appointment. When we walked up to the reception area the secretary immediately noticed the bruises on Maureen's arms and, looking straight at me, her eyes piercing my unsuspecting and unguarded demeanour, she said to Maureen, "You don't have to put up with that you know!" Suddenly, I felt as guilty as hell even though I was innocent as a new born babe! However, Maureen clearly explained, " I walked into an anchor!" 

I swore to myself I would never venture near that office again!

Some years later I needed assistance from that very same doctor's office. I ate crow and entered the office. All went extremely well....so far!

We all make thousands of decisions each day. Most of them are made unconsciously. However, we  also must make conscious judgements as well. Do I take the stairs or the escalator? Do I prefer the red sweater or the blue one? Which job offer will I accept? Other times we can be downright judgemental, especially when we are being pessimistic and shallow. Is that person an asshole or what? Obviously, the lady in the doctor's office immediately jumped to her conclusion without sufficient evidence. But at times, don't we all!!

It becomes obvious to this octogenarian that we tend to see the actions of others through our  evaluative lenses. Each of us has our own perceptions, values, ideas, history and experience. So it is only natural, when sizing up another person, we tend to use our own markers. One thing I have learned for certain however, is the more you know the less certain you become.

No one likes being judged, especially by someone we don't even know; nor do we  appreciate being told what to do. I know it can make me angry. But I don't think anger is a primary emotion here, rather it is a manifestation that someone has hurt me and made me feel unimportant, devalued or even rejected. That often explains our angry reaction. I found it helps to remember that the views of others are also coming through their own experience and often not fully thought out perceptions - 'you people', 'you should', 'you'd better'  etc. etc. Besides, truth is often so damn relative.

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Albert Einstein once wrote' "I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I get it right."

But I like  Yogi Berra's advice even better, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

And that's Dick's View of the World this Week