Listen Up!

In 1974, while touring Newfoundland with a group of my students from a Toronto College, I arranged a meeting with the 'Last Father of Confederation', Joseph Roberts "Joey" Smallwood. Joey, with what I presumed was a cadre of original members of his Confederate Association, was planning a reunion in one of the local hotels in Saint John's. When I phoned the Smallwood office to ask permission to attend the celebration,  I was at first turned down, but after I explained that we were college students from Toronto spending five weeks experiencing Newfoundland culture and history, it was decided to let us attend the reunion. However, we were told we had to sit in a corner of the banquet room and be quiet.

 Needless to say, it was as fantastic experience and a privileged occasion for all of us. At the end of their dinner Joey stood to addressed the gathering. He reviewed the early days of the campaign to join the Confederation of Newfoundland with the Confederation of Canada. He brilliantly described how some of his followers sailed up and down the coast spreading the message to the outports. Not only was I caught up in the narrative, but in his style of delivery. Joey was able to make each point a number of different times without the audience being aware that he was repeating himself! The result of this delivery left us with a clear understanding of the events that ultimately led to the union of the two Confederations.

Unfortunately not many of us share this skill of communicating. So many times when in discussion with a colleague, misunderstandings are left hanging in the air. Recently, I was sitting at home reading and Maureen came to say something. I cast my eyes down and noticed that the shoe lace on her right shoe was untied. I said, 'That's not right', pointing to the shoe on her right foot. She replied, 'It is right,' meaning it was her right foot! I insisted it was not right and she should tie her shoe. Suddenly it dawned on both of us. I was talking about the shoelace that was untied, she was insisting  that it was her right foot I was pointing at, not her left! Minor distinction I admit, but it does show how easily we can misunderstand each other.

When engaged in more serious discussions each party bring to the table their own listening skills and prejudices. Thus, there are two sets of filters that somehow have to be taken into consideration. Learning to listen accurately and speak clearly is so important in our communications with each other. Unfortunately, we are all so inundated and distracted by our devices, bombarded by media, and left with so little time to think, that often what we are trying to convey gets lost in the interchange. 

Remember the sad story of Sir Lancelot and Queen Guinevere. King Arthur had his Knights meet at a round table so that their discussions would be open and on an equal basis. Eventually it all broke down when it was discovered that Queen Guinevere and Sir Lancelot had a thing for each other. The resulting secrets and guarded discourse was the end of the Knights of the Round Table. Lancelot ended as a hermit and Guinevere a nun!

Taking time to listen attentatively and speak clearly is time consuming and often repetitive. But we can take a lesson from Joey Smallwood: take the time to listen quietly and speak clearly and thus free ourselves from those awful misunderstandings that sometimes never seem to end.

And that's Dick's View of the World this Week.