Yes...BUT!

Why do so many of us find it difficult to compromise? The reality is that no two people are the same, indeed, no two nations are the same. Hence, disagreement is part of life's journey. So the problem is not that we have different opinions, religious beliefs, political philosophies and so on - the problem is it seems to be so difficult  to find some mutual agreement, some common ground to build on.

Now I do understand that as individuals we do have principles and beliefs. Living by our principles and beliefs is important in maintaining your own dignity as a person. The problem, as I see it, is the inability of so many of us not being able to find a solution, or a compromise, especially in those area that are not of major concern. If they are of major concern then the individual should  say so and both parties can move on.

So often over my life, when nations threaten nations, in the work place, talking to people of a different political persuasion or beliefs, among friends in a club environment, at union meetings, and even in the greatest relationship of all, marriage, we fail to compromise, or even to attempt a compromise. I have seen close friends, because of a difference of opinion, grow angry, drag their position from the intellectual level to the personal level and end up never talking to each other again!  I have seen owners at a condominium meeting physically attack each other over some disagreement!  Remembering  my days as a student we called this type of argument an ad hominem (to the man) and that's when I learned to back out. In an ad hominem situation one or both parties become irrelevant, insulting and even abusive as the whole situation collapses into personal attacks. So why carry on if you cannot keep the argument on topic or search for a compromise solution?

I believe when you enter into a valid argument you have to keep your mind open to the possibility that you might have to change your position. Even those who say they will never compromise, do so many times a day in order to get on with their lives. Perhaps they don't even recognize that they are compromising! I know in politics the wags will jump on any politician who changes his or her stand on an issue. They are accused of "flip flopping". What is wrong with changing an opinion if new evidence supports the need for change? If I detect that some individuals with whom I am having a discussion has a closed mind, I find a way to back out as soon as possible. I suppose you could say that is one kind of compromise. I usually avoid discussions with such a person if experience has led me to believe their mind is usually closed. I think some might call such an individual a 'know it all'! And at the risk of being unkind, there seems to be a few of them around!

So it is important to have principles and beliefs and to live by them at all times unless, of course, you learn they are unfounded and irrelevant. It is always best to keep an open mind and not be afraid to change you mind if the evidence is strong enough. This is not being a coward, a loss of face or a being a weakling, it is just learning to live together as individuals in a world filled with fascinating people.

And that's Dick's View of the World this Week.