It's All About Attitude!

As an octogenarian I know we all have to relate to people with whom we would rather not spend a lot of time. Sometimes it is difficult to determine what the problem is. I noticed this condition when I was very young. Some kids were fun to be around and others, well, we called them the 'if I can't pitch I will take my ball and bat and go home' type. But even as I got older some people just "bugged" me and I would try to avoid them.

Bed Companion

I remember one chap in college who was, for whatever reason, not popular. One weekend he went home to see his parents. The boys got together, dismantled his Volkswagen Beetle and re-assembled it in his third floor dorm room. When he returned on Monday his car was safely parked beside his bed! In cadet camp during the Second World War those poor chaps who suffered whatever it was, ended up having their bed sheets 'Frenched' (not the coloured version!) or their whole bed, with them in it, carried outdoors in the middle of the night and parked on the front law of the barracks. Sunrise came even sooner than the wake-up bugle. There were even worse 'pranks' that I dare not mention here. But why were these chaps centred out for such foul treatment!

What did they do that made them the butt of such malicious pranks? Were they worry-warts who did a lot of fretting and who annoyed others by griping out loud about everything? They were often referred to as ' THAT pain-in-the ass'!

As I got older I still recognized these same people but their usual punishment by other adults is simply to be left alone as soon as possible.

Having not walked in anothers shoes I have no idea why some people wear a bad attitude most the time. Are they under a lot of stress - whether social, general or compulsive? Are they on anti-depressants, suffering post-traumatic stress of some sort? Or is it they are just don't know how they are perceived by others? As humans we are all different. Some of us need more attention, both physical and psychological than others.

There is no doubt that some individuals have no idea as to how they are perceived by others. That we don't often give true feedback is not necessarily a bad thing. The usual greeting is "How are you?". However, we don't expect or want an honest answer. "Just great, and you?" That greeting is not intended to be an invitation to a flood of personal problems!

"O would some power the giftie gie us,

to see ourselves as others see us."

Robert Burns

On the other hand if we are to grow and mature we need honest feedback so that we can see ourselves as others see us. But that kind of feedback can only be had from our most intimate or closest friends. In days of yore it was also possible to get this mirroring effect in what was known as Sensitivity Training. However, it required a good leader and and an open desire by everyone involved to accept the information as non-judgmental. And there lies the problem!

For my part over all these years I have learned that so much of what we use to judge others is of very little importance in the end. What they look like, where they are from, how they dress etc. may relay some message or other about the individual. However, I have found "attitude", how they manifest their feelings and emotions towards life in general, sums it up the most. It does not take long to realize some people are closed and not open to suggestions, who are toting around a load of untested opinions and false assumptions, or at least that is the way it seems to me! Hence, I perceive we are not operating on the same level and I have no obligation or desire to change them to my views. I try to be pleasant and not "piss them off" but I don't go out of my way to entertain them. If I believe they choose not to change and grow, so be it. The least I can do is allow them that privilege.

What works for me, perhaps does not work for others. And that is what makes life so interesting and challenging.

I am not the judge, but at the same time I am judging all the time!!!

And that's Dick's View of the World this Week.