The Unwritten Rules for Octogenerians!

As the calendar dates roll along, and they seem to do that with greater haste these days, it becomes clear there are some unwritten and subtle societal "rules" that apply to me. I always knew these cultural standards existed, but now I am experiencing them in practice. I am referring to the fact that our current culture  heaps great value on youthfulness, wealth and good health. When you are in your 80's most of us strike out on all three counts! It is much like a cultural shock when you suddenly have to confront this reality.

When we are are born into a culture the rules and behaviours are learned at an early age. They effect everything we do - our manners, our friendships, our dating practices etc. Often these conventions are not written down anywhere. When you get older and travel to another country you become aware of them. I often hear people talking about their experiences abroad, experiences that are different from what is practiced at home.

Of course the reversal of this happens when you return home after a long stay abroad. Your original conventions have been altered while abroad, and you find yourself out of step on returning to your own country. I had the opportunity, in my youth, to study in Belgium and I admit returning to Canada was a great relief, but I still found I questioned some of my earlier behaviours.

 Growing old is a lot like cultural shock. The physical strength of your youth seems to have vanished and the old body is constantly finding new ways to make you miserable. Since you are no  longer working you question your usefulness to society. You have to visit your doctor more often and wonder if you are becoming a liability. You question whether you are respected as a person or whether anyone cares about your opinions or feelings.



In Search of Self



But acknowledging you are no longer young, rich or healthy is not all that bad if you live in a country like Canada. Of course there is always the nostalgia for the past and being appalled on how some young people seemingly waste their youth. But at the same time there are many benefits. There is the time to do the things you like on your own terms; there are the 20% discounts; the opportunity to travel; and most of all old age is the pay off  time to nourish and cherish loved ones and friends. It provides the opportunity to really get in touch with your thinking and feelings. I am no longer a religious person, but am becoming a "spiritual" one. That is, I now have the opportunity, from time to time, to step outside of my daily tasks and routines and get in touch with my thinking and feelings. As someone once said 'to wade out into the deeper waters of myself'. This transcendence from every day concerns is a kind of karma or the bringing reason and emotion together into harmony. The resulting "freedom" turns a new spot light on everything I do. So, I am quite happy being an octogenarian right now.

                         See you in the New Year and a Merry Christmas to all.

And that's Dick's View of the World this Week.