Contradictions and Confusion!

I have a wonderful friend who will never discuss politics, religion or sex. Not only that, his world is very simple - black or white. We get along just fine. I know there are others who prefer to attend simply to their own needs and their own life and we also get along just fine. For me, it is not that simple. I find there are many 'buts' and 'maybes', huge grey areas that lead to doubts and confusion. But is that not expected of octogenarians?

Take smoking for an example. Luckily it has never been a problem for me except at work related meetings where I had to devour all that second-hand smoke from cigarettes, cigars and dirty old pipes! Given the amount of advertising around the dangers of smoking, why do so many people still do it? Are they hiding a secret hope that 'it won't happen to them'? Confusing, is it not?

Most of us are convinced fossil fuels are a  threat to the environment and even to life itself. On the other hand, who wants to give up smoking, central heating, a comfortable car or a plane ride to the islands! The girls now pay big bucks for holes in their jeans and Facebook will soon add a 'Reactions' button, but not a 'Dislike' one? Confusing, is it not?

When all is said and done we humans have to figure out what the common good is and to find some sort of mid-point compromise before we wreck the planet. Not always an easy task! As we all know, there are times when even compatibility is not possible or even desired.

Of course, not all opposites are negative: night and day, sweet and sour, justice and mercy, hot and cold to name a few. I don't think it's realistic to  expect we will always find a compromise in every situation. So how do we proceed? 

The same could be said about the incompatibilities we daily experience with lovers, friends and fellow workers. Obviously, finding agreement in arguments does not necessarily generate a solution!  The other side may grudgingly agree to the compromise, but stomp off feeling hurt and unappreciated.

Each of us has unique needs. For example, I need and appreciate some sense of my own autonomy. Yet, I know I am not absolutely free!  Since that is the case, then occasionally, especially with the ones I love, it is best to yield and raise the white flag. It shows I care about the other person's need to preserve their own unique autonomy and freedom. And if it is merely one of those daily little differences, then it is a way of showing respect. I do it because I care about them, not because I'm weak or 'it's the right thing to do'!

I read one time that too many little compromises will slowly eat away at a relationship. This is probably true if, over time, one partner or the other perceives it as a chipping away at their personal freedom.

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Just like it's necessary to change the oil in my car, I find it is also good to consider revamping my habitual and even fixed ways of doing things. In my case, it keeps me very busy!

The times are often contradictory and confusing to this old senior, but, in the end confronting my confusion is more suitable than a simple black and white perspective!

"If you do not create change, change will create you." (Unknown)  I like to keep my hand on the tiller!

And that's Dick's View of the World this Week

Did You Know?  The baby boomers in the U.S. are on their way out. Close to 10,000 reach retirement age every day. Great opportunity for the millennials!