Getting Over Getting Older

Everyone has one, but not everyone is one. I once knew a gentleman who classified everyone who did not agree with his position, to be one. I was so unhappy with my performance on the sailboat last weekend, that I called myself one.

Once again the lake was "bumpy",  the wind light and in the wrong direction. In order to get the boat to move forward  I went onto the foredeck to attach the whisker pole to the jib sail. The whisker pole is a smaller telescopic spinnaker pole that is attached to the mast at one end and to the clew, or a corner of the sail, at the other end.  The pole has two-line end fittings that snap into place - if you are lucky! As well, another line, called the topping lift, must be attached to the middle of the pole to keep it in position. Without the pole the jib will collapse in downwind and lumpy conditions. I must confess at my age the rolling deck made it difficult for me to get a good footing to freely perform all these tasks. Two hands are required to set it properly. I admit I was having trouble and I had to call instructions to Maureen, now on the wheel and steering the boat, to release some lines and, at the same time, keep the boat as steady as possible.

In my frustration with my stumbling around on deck, the instructions I shouted to Maureen sounded to her as if I was angry with her performance in the cockpit. As well she was truly concerned about my attempting these tasks without a life-jacket or a tether! She had good reason to think I damn well could have fallen off the boat into the turbulent water.

Although I have been sailing for seventy years there is still more to learn. Of course, I probably also need to relearn a few things now and again! What was interesting about this episode was that the boat was teaching me something very personal. First, I was careless going on deck in those conditions minus the proper safety equipment. Secondly, my verbal frustration with my own sloppy behaviour was interpreted as anger towards another. 

What we have here is a typical experience of getting old. The time has come when I have to pare down some of my life long practices. I can no longer balance myself on a bouncing boat, and at the same time, do a proper job with the sails. Learning to live with the new limitations aging provides is often difficult. As someone once said, 'It's not hard getting old, what is hard is doing it gracefully.'

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What I don't want to do is boost the many negative stereotypes about  aging (we are inflexible, senile, sexless, have no memory, cranks, incapacitated, unproductive and lonely...to name a few). We absorb these myths and half-truths through a life time in our culture.  We presume them to be true! Just look at all the cartoons about old people on the net! In reality they scare the shit out of people who do not want to fit those conventional images. The problem is most of us do not even realize we have learned these generalized false ideas about aging  and have accepted them as facts for everybody! Because we never examine them, they remain frozen in our minds. Hence, the popularity of products on the market to help us escape the effects of growing old and by association be considered worthless. And here is the kicker: These ageist stereotypes actually become self-fulfilling prophecies. Why? Because people expect them and thus, stop their effort to overcome the aging limitations by not exploring new possibilities, avoiding challenges or just giving up!

I like this quote, "Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough." (Groucho Marx) In other words, don't give up living because you are old. At least that is one way to interpret his quote!

The real truth is, at least in our society, getting older means getting better. The wisdom accumulated through the years opens us to new experiences so that we can continue to have an interesting and fruitful time in life.

Yes, I was one this past weekend.  But, even if I am not as agile as I was forty years ago, I can still get out there and enjoy the art of sailing.

And that's Dicks View of the World this Week

Did You Know?

The city of Beijing in China has restricted the number of new cars on the road. Should Toronto examined this idea?