"Shame on You"

The other day I was required to attend a Group Eduction Session specifically designed by the Provence of Ontario for drivers over eighty. Prior to her lecture the instructor proceeded with individual eye exams. While the rest of us were waiting our turn, I decided to do something useful, play solitaire on my cell phone! Unfortunately, I had not turned off the speaker and immediately a loud musical ad burst forth. I pulled the phone close to my body to kill the sound while I searched for the off button. Everyone around the table was looking at me, and one old guy, obviously in his eighties, scolded me and told me to put my phone away!

I suppose you could say that blasting music into a group of octogenarians, anxiously wondering if their drivers licence will be renewed, was a violation of some social standard. I felt a bit exposed, awkward and definitely embarrassed.

"Oh Shit!"

But life is full of little embarrassments! An unintended flatulence or belch, forgotten names, mustard on your T-shirt, or caught with your hand in the cookie jar. There are times we find ourselves suddenly in the "Spot-Light" realizing we have made a faux-pas. Unfortunately, being embarrassed is a public emotion as our sympathetic nervous system cause blushing as we attempt to hide our face in our hands.

On the other hand, embarrassing moments have advantages. There are those who say that mistakes can help us learn. And research has shown that people who display embarrassment are more likely to be forgiven and trusted, especially when they apologize and turn on a big smile.

As an octogenarian I have learned others simply don't pay as much attention to us as we might think. I can remember so many times being embarrassed and staying awake at night scolding myself for being so stupid only to learn the next day it was all forgotten. Most of the time others don't notice our little social aggressions as deeply as we experience them.

I know it is only natural to care what others think and it is important to feel included in the group. After all who wants to be left out? But then again there are those who, no matter who you are, just won't approve. The reality is, some will like us and some won't.  So a good shrug helps to dispel an unreasonable criticism.

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A Cornell University psychologist, Robert J. Sternberg, writing in the Chronicle of Higher Education, says that we need to be 'resilient', that is keep coming back after an embarrassment, not only the little setbacks, but the big ones as well. 

I am sure when the examiner announced at the end of our Group Education Session that everyone in the room passed, none of them will remember my blaring mobile phone embarrassment. Well, even if they do, I hope they enjoy telling the story to their friends whom I will never meet anyway!

And that's Dick's View of the World this Week

Did you know?

Some of the mobile apps that sell advertising get paid by the number of views. You know what? Some of them inflate the number of viewers in order to make more money!!! Such invisible-ad fraud also slows down your device.