Nurturing Self-Esteem

One thing I know for sure, some days are better than others.

Last weekend we joined a club cruise to the western end of Lake Ontario. On Saturday the wind was fair and, for the most part, we had a wonderful sail. Twenty-two boats joined us for the two day cruise. The Toronto shoreline was cluttered with race courses and, as we passed the various clubs, hundreds of sailboats, big and small, were out on the lake taking advantage of the fair winds. We had to change course a few times to stay clear of the race marks. Eventually all the boats in the cruise reached the designated affiliated club and we had a wonderful evening barbecuing and exchanging scuttlebutt.

Sunday morning came and the lake was a very different place. Strong winds and mounting waves rushing from the east meant a hard day of tacking. But, after a few hours the wind died, but the waves continued! Not a nice time to be in a sail boat! I confess, we motored a good part of the way home!

Jimmy Dean, the American country singer and actor once wrote, "I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust the sails." Unfortunately Jimmy, when the wind and waves are in your face either you keep going or you turn on the motor! Yes, some days are better than others.

Yet, Jimmy Dean has a point. Looking back over eighty years I must confess there are times that just adjusting the sails is sufficient, but then there are times when major decisions have to be confronted. Sometimes the major changes are positive in nature like graduation or marriage when we are prepared and ready to take on the challenge. It's the negative ones that I find the most difficult. Losing your job when it is not expected, as happened to me when working in Dayton, Ohio; being informed that you have a serious illness, as when the doctor told me I had prostate cancer; or learning of the death of one you love, as in the recent death of my sister. In many cases such as these the sails may need more that a simple adjustment or a small tweak. These deep life events are not merely a simple change but a transition or a psychological state of bereavement for example. As a result our mind needs to reconstruct itself and adapt to the new reality. But, even then there is often some guilt to deal with as we struggle to move on.

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I find it helpful to realize that transitional change takes time, sometimes even a long time, to reconstruct and reshape to the new reality. That is why we need others to support us and help us to alter the new reality.

James Baldwin, an African-American writer said it this way, "Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced."

So keep on tweaking your sails, but don't hesitate to turn on the motor when necessary.

And that's Dick's View of the World this Week

Did you know?  That Alzheimer's kills almost 100,000 Americans each year. More importantly, it also wrecks the final years of almost five million more. Will they find a cure for dementia soon?