"Split Thinking" - Nothing Serious I Hope!

Even octogenarians have to get exercise. I manage to get to the gym a lot, but on days when that is not possible, I go for a long brisk walk early in the morning. I have come to realize that I think one way as a walker and another way as a driver.

As a walker I hate those drivers who pop out of a side street and don't even look for pedestrians. This happened to me twice today. In a third incident the driver wanted to make a right turn on a green light. In all three cases I had the right of way but the drivers, wanting to make a right turn, concentrated on the cars coming from the left. As soon as there is a break they put the pedal-to-the-metal without realizing there is a pedestrian, namely me, about to step off the curb and obediently follow my  green walking light to the other side. In all three occasions I had to jump back out of their way. Naturally, I have to ask what is wrong with early morning drivers? Did they not learn to look in both directions prior to making a right turn? Do they not expect to see pedestrians in the early morning out for their exercise? As a walker in the morning I get the feeling automobile drivers are always in a major rush. This had led me to the conclusion that our society is so wound up that people rush into everything, when, in reality, most of them have no reason to rush at all!

As a driver I hate those pedestrians who seem unable to make up their minds on the corner. Are they going to cross the street or not? Finally, when everything is to their satisfaction they step off the curb and literally sashay across the road. Some of the cool generation even have their shoe laces  dragging along the road, their jeans hanging off their ass, as they ostentatiously meander to the other side! Then there are the jaywalkers too lazy to cross at the safer intersections!  Don't they realize there are cars waiting to make a right or left turn before the light turns against them again? Why do they always appear as if they are almost ready to give me the finger? The way foot walkers behave in Toronto has led me to the conclusion that our citizens have no respect for one another.

I call this Split Thinking, not to be confused with Splitting. According to some thinkers Splitting is the inability to bring together both ones positive and negative qualities into a realistic whole. I have met a few people who seem to see things as either good or bad, their way or the highway - a kind of narcissistic personality. Sometimes such people only value those who fit into their view of the world. They make it difficult to establish a friendly relationship. I don't think I am Splitting, rather just seeing circumstances from two different positions.

Getting old, they say, makes it difficult to keep focused or perhaps it's just a hearing problem! Sometimes people are explaining something to me or telling me a story, and later I can't remember all the details. This is one reason I like to take Maureen with me to the doctors office. She remembers the details I fail to ingest. Walking alone is an opportunity to work on the problem. At the same time I realize that my views seem to hinge on my immediate circumstances. That is not to say the circumstances decide what kind of a person I am. Often, I can't choose the circumstances, but I can choose my thoughts and shape them.

As Martha Washington once wrote: "The greater part of happiness or misery depends upon our disposition, and not upon our circumstances."

Hence, during my walking time, not only am I trying to keep the old body in some kind of reasonable shape, but I also fight to bring myself into the present as a walk along. I imagine I am a photographer looking for a unique shot. I try to live the moment concentrating on how I am feeling at the time, and attempting to focus on the immediate world around me - the colours, the sounds, the sky above and the ground below. In other words trying to get my thoughts into the present experience and enjoy those exact moments of my life to the fullest.  God - it's a wonder I was not bumped over by one of those cars! On the other hand, because my head was where I wanted it to be at that moment I was able to avoid getting run over.


It is for others to decide if I have a borderline narcissistic personality disorder. I call it 'Split Thinking', and I will just continue to focus on my life and friends and enjoy the world around me.

And that's Dick's View of the World this Week